Keep the Lowlights Coming
Bottom News is independent, ad-free, and entirely funded by people who think their city's disappointments deserve proper documentation.
Pick a city. Pick a tier. Help us cover England's most underwhelming moments.
Why Support Bottom News?
Because someone has to document the potholes, the cancelled events, and the council meetings that achieved nothing.
Champion Your City
Pick a city and become one of its official supporters. The more supporters a city has, the more coverage it gets.
Shape the Coverage
Higher tiers can pitch story ideas and get featured in articles. You literally help decide what lowlights get documented.
Keep Us Independent
No ads, no investors, no corporate overlords. Just supporters who appreciate a good council mishap story.
How to Claim Your City
Three simple steps to become a documented supporter of your city's lowlights
Choose Your Tier
Pick a monthly membership: Misery Mate (£3), Gloom Guardian (£5), or Doom Director (£10) where you choose who reads your city's news. Or claim your city forever with a one-time £49 Lifetime Lowlight donation.
Support on Ko-fi
Head to ko-fi.com/bottomnews and select your membership tier. Ko-fi handles the payment securely.
Tell Us Your City
After payment, email hello@bottomnews.co.uk with your name, Ko-fi username, chosen city, and an optional quote. Doom Directors: include your personality choice!
35 cities still available for Lifetime Lowlight, including:
🎬 Doom Directors: Any of these cities could have their news read by anyone you choose — Donald Trump, David Attenborough, a fictional villain, your nan. Submit your personality, we'll make it happen.
Monthly Memberships
Pick a tier, pick a city, and join the community documenting England's lowlights.
Misery Mate
"I support my city's documented despair"
Entry-level supporter who picks a city and gets listed as one of its official doom donors.
- Pick your city — listed on its supporter wall
- Help boost coverage for your area's bleakest moments
- Monthly updates on which cities are winning at losing
- The warm feeling of funding documented misery
Gloom Guardian
"I guard my city's lowlights"
Recognised guardian of your city's documented despair, with a badge and ability to pitch story ideas.
- Pick your city — listed with a "Guardian" badge
- Pitch us story ideas from your area
- Help boost coverage for your city
- Monthly updates on the site's growing catalogue of despair
- Rik will dedicate a dramatic sigh to you
Doom Director
"I direct how doom is delivered"
You pick the city. You pick the voice. Imagine anyone — real or fictional — reading your city's news. Submit your choice, we'll make it happen.
- Pick your city — you decide which area gets the treatment
- Choose ANY personality to voice the news (use your imagination!)
- Submit your choice — if approved, articles get written in their style
- Your name featured in every article from your city
- Pitch story ideas — Directors get priority (Eddie actually reads these)
- Rik will mention you in his theatrical introductions
Or Go Lifetime
One donation. Forever recognition. Claim your city for eternity.
Lifetime Lowlight
"I'm in forever"
Permanent lifetime supporter. One donation, never pay again, top of the supporter wall forever.
- Lifetime supporter of your chosen city — never pay again
- Permanent "Lifetime Lowlight" status at the top of your city's wall
- Your name featured in articles from your area, forever
- Pitch us story ideas — Lifetime Lowlights get absolute priority
- Listed on our Hall of Patrons page permanently
- Only ONE Lifetime Lowlight per city — claim yours
Make a one-time £49 donation on Ko-fi and email us to claim your city
All tiers include your name on your chosen city's supporter wall. Higher tiers get better badges and more influence.
The Rik & Eddie Promise
🎭
Rik Says:
"Every supporter is a patron of the arts — the art of documenting England's quiet disappointments with the gravitas they deserve. Your contribution shall not be forgotten, nay, it shall be celebrated with the theatrical flourish of a regional news anchor announcing a traffic cone-related incident."
🍺
Eddie Says:
"Cheers. Means we can keep doing this. Now shut up, Rik."
Every penny goes toward keeping Bottom News running — hosting, image generation, development, and keeping Eddie supplied with enough tea to tolerate Rik's monologues.
What Your Support Covers
Running a satirical news site isn't free. Here's where the money goes.
Hosting & Infrastructure
Servers, domains, CDN — keeping the site fast and available 24/7.
AI Image Generation
Creating unique images for every story about cancelled fetes and traffic cones.
Development & Maintenance
Building new features, fixing bugs, keeping everything running smoothly.
Tea for Eddie
Essential. Non-negotiable. The entire operation depends on this.
Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know about supporting Bottom News
Ready to Champion Your City's Lowlights?
Join the supporters keeping England's most comprehensive archive of local disappointment alive.
Questions? Email us at hello@bottomnews.co.uk
Supporters are listed on their chosen city's page. Lifetime Lowlights are also featured on our Hall of Patrons.